The Little Things

Its the little things
that get me thinking,
that get my mind racing,
that bring back the pain--
I try to smother it.

Its the little things
brushing my teeth alone,
laying in bed alone,
I turn off my own light now-
I roll over and no one's there
I wake up and no one's there.

The little things like when he
would cover up Phoenix at night
and make sure everything was alright.
Lock the door
Check the temperature
Get my blanket for me.
Set the alarm that never woke me up.

Every morning-
roll over and tell me it was 10:00 am.
Jes-aren't you going to shower?
Pick your shoes up, there's 5 pairs in here.
What have you eaten today?
You're grounded.
Three kisses every morning,
and three at night.
I love you and goodnight.

Its not that I want him there-
or that I can't cope on my own.
Its just those little things
that bring on the tears.
That bring back the pain.
That make me hurt.

Its only at night-
when it gets so hard.
And in the morning,
when I wake up and he's not there-
I will remember why
and tell myself Good job.
You're finally free-
I can finally be me.

And each day a little stronger
I will grow.
And each day the pain will
go away a little more.
And soon I will heal-
but for now
the little things get me
everytime.

♥